Thursday, August 13, 2009

Is It a Crime...?

-to have wanted Grey Gardens to sweep the 2007 Tony Awards?

-to admire every actress who has starred in Gypsy on Broadway and not play favorites?

-to prefer William Warfield's rendition of "Ol' Man River" to Paul Robeson's?

-to want the original production of Follies - sets, costumes, staging - brought back every year or made part of the NYCO repertory?

-for Encores! to stick to their original mission? (More Juno, less Birdie)

-to want a cast album for every musical that opens, regardless of whether or not the show is any good?

-to dislike the British megamusicals?

-for actors to be cast by hard work, discipline and auditions rather than a reality TV series?

-for a musical to be wholly original?

-to admire both Jerry Herman and Stephen Sondheim?

-for a contemporary non musical play to sustain a three year run?

-to prefer integrated musicals over interpolated musicals?

-to delineate between a revue and a jukebox musical?

-to gently correct people when they mistakenly use the term "Broadway soundtrack" instead of "Broadway cast album/recording"?

-to televise the Tony Awards ceremony in a different Broadway house each year?

-for Colony to gouge their prices so?

-to close a cash cow that's become an industry joke?

-to disapprove of the internet surcharges and service fees when purchasing theatre tickets?

-for the exemplary Jan Maxwell to star in a critical and financial smash on Broadway?

-for the original orchestrations to be respected rather than discarded (I'm talking to you, Roundabout)

-for the Times Square Church to vacate the Mark Hellinger Theatre?

-for a Broadway house to be named for Oscar Hammerstein II?

-to allow more than three minutes for a Best Musical and Revival of a Musical nominee to perform on the Tony telecast?

-to enjoy the new pedestrian friendly Times Square?

-to listen to an overture, entr'acte and exit music uninterrupted by conversation?

-for individuals to turn off their goddamn cell phones, blackberries and iPhones while a show is in progress? (oh wait, it is...)

-for Encores! (or some other group) to present an annual concert series of Broadway flops for us to see how and why they failed?

-to have a hit show play the Lyceum Theatre?

-for contemporary musical theatre composers to write pop scores that aren't unhealthy to sing?

-to have the Drama Desk Awards aired on PBS again?

-for Off-Broadway theatre to get as much love as Broadway?

-to grab a lamppost and then sing "Sweet Adeline"?

5 comments:

SarahB said...

ooooh skating on thin ice with a few of these but...you're mostly right!

karigee said...

Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes, no, etc. Quite a thoughtful list, my friend, bravo! The only one I shall personally quibble with — as a minor pet peeve — is the "soundtrack" vs. "cast recording" debate. It's the kind of distinction that *some* people in the know employ simply to prove they're in the know, because it allows them to snicker when neophytes err. I'm not objecting to the use of the terminology, simply to its application in certain circles; i.e., when it's used to keep people out. That's the kind of thing that burns my barn.

(P.S.: Feel free to use that barn burning thing anytime.)

Kevin Daly said...

That burns my barn too, KariG. It's one thing to gently correct, but it's another thing entirely to condescend toward someone for simply not knowing the difference. As a result I tend to only correct people who should know the difference, like musical theatre majors I've taught.

If someone who's not a major Broadwayite doesn't know the difference, I'm not going to be the wet mop that curbs their enthusiasm and enjoyment.

Vance said...

So many good ones but I like the Encores/flops idea!
Also, I believe anybody who uses their cellphones,iPhones,blackberries etc deserve to be smacked in the head. I'm not a violent person but that's just asking for it.

Byrne Harrison said...

"for actors to be cast by hard work, discipline and auditions rather than a reality TV series?"

Amen, brother!